I take the hermetically sealed envelope out of the mayonnaise jar, and holding it to my ornately turbaned head, I say:
"A camel with one too many straws, a movie with two gay cowboys, and me."
Tearing open the envelope, I reveal the question:
"Name three things with a broke back."
Yeah, apparently I have a stress fracture in one of my vertebrae. Which would explain some of the back pain. Maybe not all, but some.
Why do I have a stress fracture? I don't know. Honestly, I have no idea how it happened. No recollection of anything that could have done it. I'd like to think that it came from my performing some superhuman feat of strength, like lifting a bus off of an orphan. But no. More likely it was because I have the bones of a 70-year-0ld woman. I was going to sell them on Ebay, but they wouldn't let me (rimshot).
So it looks like maybe there will be less Diet Coke, more weight-bearing exercise, and more calcium-rich foods in my future. It figures. My doctor visits have this nasty habit of returning to the theme of exercising more, eating better, and getting more sleep. Perhaps I'll try it this time.
3 comments:
I'm glad you weren't the camel or the mountain with way too many issues for a therapy session. I wish you luck with the diet coke withdrawals. I'm still waiting to be commanded in all things, at least where my favorite beverage is concerned.
pshobcli, that's my word verification and the weirdest one yet!
I'm not sure if exercise, diet and sleep can counteract the bone-draining effects of being an administrator. Despite everything you do, you're still likely to lose your backbone in the next two or three years.
The name is the key - "Stress Fracture" it's all stress, you just need to relax. Diet Coke and a sedentary lifestyle are innocent bystanders (at least I hope they are, otherwise I'm in trouble).
Correlation does NOT equal Causation. Right?
Post a Comment